This feels like my biggest transition yet (or perhaps every major transformation feels like that).
I’m a little nervous to share it with you but it’s time…
When I showed up at an ashram in India sixteen years ago I had no intention of getting a guru, shaving my head or changing my name. All of these things happened within a matter of weeks of me being there.
I had vivid dreams about shaving my head and the call for me to take my spiritual initiation was so clear to me, it felt so right.
Even after receiving my spiritual name, Madhuri, which I was told means “inner beauty or inner sweetness” I didn’t think I would use it beyond the ashram walls.
Names are very powerful.
They are our identity— we hear our name called out over and over again. There is a vibrational resonate, a specific sound to our names and weather we know it or not it leaves an energetic imprint over time.
Organically, Madhuri became what people called me. It wasn’t an intentional shift in the beginning, just the name I used teaching yoga, and now most people I know call me Madhuri.
It isn’t always easy being called Madhuri. People expect me to be Indian or some-sort-of exotic when I show up. Then there is the whole pronunciation of my name. Need I say more? Oh, not to mention friends from high school thinking I’m totally weird and have joined some sort of cult.
Madhuri is a beautiful name. It’s got great symbolic and astrological meaning to me. But it’s time to let it go.
It’s crucial to stay current to who we are and not get stuck in a version of who we used to be…last week…last year or even ten years ago…
You see, there has been a metamorphosis going on within me for some time now. My inner knowing has been trying to bust out of its confines, like a chrysalis ready to emerge and spread it’s wings—to fly.
I want to live fully and wholly and be honest in my expression. Madhuri is wonderful and I have learned so much being her.
But along with my spiritual name, there were limitations, spiritual ideals and opinions that were subtly woven into the fabric of my being that I no longer need.
So, I’m going back to using my birth name: Melanie Dawn Phillips.
This comes with a sense of trepidation (and empowerment). Mostly the awkwardness of the transition, the inconvenience that may be derived, anticipating that you may think it’s weird or flaky. Fear of making a big fat public mistake (how embarrassing).
I’ve come to recognize that even if you do think or feel these things for a minute or two, I’m doing this for me.
This is the next spiritual initiation in my life—full integration.
It means wholly and fully embracing all of me, tapping into the shadow aspects of my self that need more love and shining brightly in the world to unapologetically fulfill my dharma.
And maybe, just maybe, this will also inspire someone to reclaim forgotten parts of themself in the way that feels right to them.
Thank you for your love and support on this journey. I’ve kept the best of both: Madhuri Method will become the name of my business and what I offer and do in the world and it will be delivered by me, Melanie Phillips.
In excitement & trepidation,